Mr. Mom

No, I haven't seen the movie, but then, Teri Garr bothers me. I am instead referring to the last three days and nights, where Bree was in NYC visiting brother Dustin - her first "big" trip away from home since Emy was born. Emy and I had a great time on Saturday. After dropping Bree off, we went grocery shopping and had lunch at Mississippi Market. We went home and patiently waited for Jeremy and jack to be available to join us for a day at the beach. But, the plans fell through at the last minute leaving Emy and I to go it alone. She got a good nap on the drive there, and we really had a wonderful time swimming and making eleven sand castles. The highlight was hunting for sticks to make flag towers, since as Emy says, "Castles always have flags." We then drove in to Stillwater for dinner and ice cream, and watched the boats float by on the St Croix. However, the main theme of our trip was about the change on the drive back. Emy said she felt really tired (which didn't seem surprising) and her throat was sore. So too was mine, but I figured it was from being outside in the wind all afternoon. But, later a bad cold plugged her nose and made for a generally rough night. Those who know Emy well will understand when I say she does not tolerate stuffed noses well. She is such a sensitive kid that the slightest bother really sets her off.

In the morning, she seemed a bit better, even though she was running 100.5 F, and so when Grandma Jane came over for the traditional Sunday morning Emy time, both Emy and I were happy. I hung out at Coffee News and read some T'ai Chi philosophy (Cheng Tzu's Thirteen Treatises on T'ai Chi Ch'uanby Cheng Man Ch'ing) and poured five cups of strong black coffee into my system to prepare me for the day. When I got home Emy ran toward me whimpering a bit and saying "I really missed you, Daddy." Surprisingly, she did not say "I miss Mama." I knew I should not drop her off with Grandma & Grandpa Norlander that afternoon. We took a decent nap for two hours and then after lunch (she woke up hungry) we went to Norlanders' to hang out. Emy napped on my chest for somewhere around 30 minutes while Grandpa and I talked and Grandma cooked. Emy gave in to a popsicle offered by Grandma, and that was perhaps a turning point in the evening. She perked up a bit from then on and ate a full dinner, so I figured she was on the road to recovery. We watched some Dora downstairs with Grandpa, who confirmed for me that the show is weird. Emy seems to like it despite the fact the show attempts to be "interactive" with the audience, repeats itself over and over "Pond...Farm...Grandma's House!", and uses a mouse click pointer to find things on screen (as though the whole world is a big computer program - and No, even though I have seen the whole Matrix trilogy, I don't believe this to be the case). It kinda freaks me out. She told me she wanted to go home, so we left within a few minutes. When we got home her temp was 99.3 F and she was breathing thru the nose without difficulty. After a little snack and the shareware games JrVet and JrDoctor from CurioSoft she was ready to go to sleep. I'll blog more about her ability with computer games on another day.

That night was fabulous, which allowed both of us to catch up on sleep. In the morning she asked me if I was "so impressed" that she could go without Mama Milk in the morning and I told her I was. She said maybe she's done with Mama Milk, and I said, "Well, I think that is a good idea, but it really is your decision to make with Mama - maybe you'll still want a little when she gets back, but I think you now know you don't need Mama Milk to wake up in the morning or to fall asleep for your nap during the day." [Note: This morning she was very happy to have some Mama milk, but at least the seed has been planted that she can do it if she wants] We took the bus to get our favorite sprinkle donuts for breakfast and after bussing home we went to the Science Museum to see Bears, which it turns out was a bit scary for her. We went home to take a nap, but once we got back she just wanted to play school. In this game, Emy fills her backpack with random things and then we "learn about them" in the classroom from me, the teacher. Later, she helped me change the air filter on the car and then we harvested beets, carrots, watermelon and tomatoes from the garden to fix dinner. Emy washed carrots while I cooked up the beets and some pasta, and after dinner she helped me clean the dishes. She was pretty much obsessed with helping me with housework the whole time Bree was away, and really takes great pride in her ability to vacuum and help cook. It gives me great pleasure to see her proud of her own accomplishments - I am so glad she isn't one of those kids who looks for external approval of every little "good thing" they do. After dinner it took some prodding to get her out to a playground, but I knew it was essential to wear her out before bedtime, or she would focus on the fact that Bree was coming back sometime late in the night. It worked well, but she woke up twice from "bad dreams" before I finally gave up on Bree coming back before 11 PM and went to sleep. I think Bree got in about 11:15 or so, and now life is back to normal for the Scolanders.
Here is the list of things I learned while being the sole parent:

• Emy is very good at playing by herself, if she thinks that what you are doing is important
• I cannot leave her alone with my laptop or she will start sending IM and changing my desktop picture
• Emy loves me very much and thinks I am the best (oh wait, I already knew this, but it felt great to hear it a number of times)
• Emy is growing up fast - she gets her own snacks, cleans up after herself, uses the bathroom, brushes her teeth, dresses herself, runs all kids of electronic devices with great skill, and can focus on a single task for an hour or more if I help her see the "next challenge" or expand the task
  
• I can be a stay at home parent and love it - you know, if Bree someday hits her head rock climbing and decides she wants to be the bread winner
• It is possible to keep a clean house, wash dishes, vacuum, get us both showered and out the door, and not turn the TV on for much or any of the day, if I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. My sympathy for Bree's day-to-day job was high before, but now I am amazed at what she manages to get done each day while I am at work
• Emy really likes herself and her talents. She deliberately challenges herself with tasks and relishes the accomplishment on completion
  

OK, I could write more about the experience, but most of what I feel about our weekend is internal and not really something I can express without more thought. Thanks for reading. We are so glad Mama is back! Bree promises to blog on the New York experience, and first hand witnessing of Air Rage on NWA 107! That will be fun to read.

To beard or not to beard - that is the question. I put it to you, the audience. I like how I looked, and I feel "old enough" to sport some facial hair. So, if you have an opinion, please vote. Yes - means grow a beard again, and No means please don't grow a beard again. No abstaining, please. And no "I'll love you no matter what you do" votes either :-)

Washington Bound part 1
The word is on the street. I am negotiating with my former Redmond, WA employer for a grand return. Some of you already know this, and others might be surprised. Didn't I say I wanted to be a professor? I do love teaching, yes, but the life in the ivory tower is a bit more demanding...

The short explanation is this - professors work long hours, and have busy summers attempting to catch up on research projects. If I could change the world so that professors work ~40 hours a week, have relaxed summers that allow for ample free time and weekend getaways, rarely have to write a research grant, and almost never have to author a research paper, then I would sign up immediately. Alas, reality does not match my ideal.

Hence, I will return to a job that was interesting enough, paid well enough, and provided sufficient moolah to enjoy life. While we have been getting by on a paltry sum for the past two years, I think we realize that we need a little more to allow for travel, education for Emy, and a house we can mold or build to fit our goals of green living. And, we miss the mountains. Just look at that picture of Mount Rainier - doesn't it call to you?

For our friends out in Washington - we can't wait to see you again for climbing, hiking, camping, snow sports, Thai food, and Canadian getaways. For our friends in Minnesota - we'll visit often, or maybe you'd like to move to one of the best places in the country? We will do our best to set you up, or at least serve as a guide to the area.